August 22, 2017
So as you all may know, Taylor Swift just dropped a snake video. Yep, a snake video. She’s got quite the history with snakes, but this all begs the overarching question - yo, Tay, wyd?
I’ll tell you what she’s doing. She’s calculating. Much like many species of snakes probably. It all comes back to one thing -Taylor knows she can do it and get away with it. Nothing says “I’m better than you and I know it” like using a situation some would deem less-than-stellar to your advantage. See Below:
Taylor is Regina George. Everyone loves to hate her.
Now I’m Team Taylor all the way. After 1989 I thought she was as on top of the world as she’d ever be and would go forward as an unstoppable force. Then Kim Kardashian comes along, the King Midas of low-res recordings, with a snapchat video to knock Taylor off whatever gold-plated, Hampton-barbecue having unicorn she rode in on. The video of course was the one of Kanye on the phone with Taylor in regards to his line in "Famous" about possibly copulating with the pop star, thus growing her brand. This line was heavily refuted by Swift in the press, denying that she ever gave him permission to use it. Well, from the evidence presented it was pretty obvious that Kanye was in the right. And just like that, the Taylor Swift image of pristine promises, honesty and innocence was done-zo.
Whatever term you wanna use for it, I thought it applied. Even Swifty couldn’t come back from this one. In my mind she was exposed. Like Regina she carried with her whispers of bad attitude and ill will but no one could ever prove it. She was TOO perfect. There had to be something. NO ONE can be squeaky clean all the time. Where were the skeletons?
Well, we found em on Kim K’s phone...of all the gin joints in all the world. Giving the ultimate crescendo to the #TaylorSwiftASnake saga.
So, where do you go from there? Well, if you’re the Regina George/Cersei Lannister hybrid that is Taylor you lay low. Only popping your head out to wish Ed Sheeran a happy birthday or some other perfectly pleasant bubbly bullshit until the time is right. Then, you delete your profile pic off Instagram along with all your posts, however many thousands there may be, and you post the tip of the tail of a snake. Then you wait a few days and you post some more of the tail moving back towards the head. Then you make em wait even longer, because by now you have 26 year old blogger writing about your nonsensical social media ploys on their lunchbreak at work.
Everyone loves to hate Taylor, but Taylor loves it more.
Life is unfair but TSwift always wins.